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| Rainy day stresses and reflections
I got my visa today. This would normally be followed with a whoohoo,
but for some odd reason they only renewed it to September, which means
it 3 months away, which means I need to reapply now for my new visa.
And sit around probably for another year not being sure if I have it.
Stresses of living here.
I guess its Denmarks way of saying your not really wanted here, or
maybe that is just a silly little thought in my head. I am in a good
place, a transitional place, a place full of uncertainty but good neither the less. But the longer I am here sitting in this place I wonder will my life aways be like this, always changing, always moving, always just waiting and seeing what is next year holding. I do like this, it forces me to rely on God. It keeps my life interesting and new, but I am looking for a bit more consistentcy.
And maybe this can come with hopefully getting into school in the fall, that would be 3 years of consistency. I not sure I am tired and thinking to much. I find myself getting lost in things in the future, wondering when they will sneak up in life. Anyhow just sitting here thinking merrying thinking.
Teitur-
I was just thinking that I have been missing you for way too long
There's something inside this weary head that wants us to love just instead
But I was just thinking, merely thinking
I've got loads of pictures
I've got the one of you in that dancing dress
But man I feel silly in that dim light
Just after doing you by the sight of My Kodak delights
I am sinking, merely sinking
I think about long distance rates instead of kissing you babe
I'm a singer without a song
If I wait for you longer my affection is stronger I,
I was just thinking, merely thinking
This boat is sinking
I'm tired of postcards, especially the ones with cute dogs and cupids
I'm tired of calling you, missing you, dreaming I've slept with you
Don't get me wrong I still desperately love you
Inside this weary head I just want us to love instead
But I was just thinking and thinking, merely thinking
I think about long distance rates instead of kissing you babe
And time is running me still
If I wait for you longer my affection is stronger
I was just thinking - I was just thinking
That I'm tired of calling you once a week
And thinking of long distance rates instead of kissing you
Baby I'm sinking, merely sinking
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| current emotion: hurt & fake.
I am a girl and I am emotional.
Something happen this week, I am praying about it, I read my bible I am talking to God about it. Yet its hurting me so deeply. I so badly want to just say, " Jessy you stupid girl, let go.... get over it and hand it off." In all honestly I have tried. Told my closet friend about it. Made the right choices and cried. Because the fact is, is I am not a teenager anymore! I am an adult, and I need to living like one. My choices are my responsibility. My attitudes can only reflect my maturity.
I am very drained of just knowing the 5-step process of making things better. I have read the integrity books, the leader books, oh and don’t forget the bible. I know how I am supposed to be, how Jessy should be.
It was just a pin needle prick into a quite lonely heart... but it was enough. Its just hard to go to my community, when community things are hurting. But I must. (Sigh)
(this is not a huge thing to ask me about... just random thoughts sorry if its to much not enough infomations.)
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| SUN= HAPPY PEOPLE...
The sun is back in Denmark and I feel like I can breath again. It was a long winter of change and new things, and trusting God with all the small things. Now its spring and summer is coming. A new chapter in my book called life. And I am not worried or scared just learning to trust God with every day.
I learn so much about myself these last few months. I had alot of fun too... trying new things and getting rid of old stereotypes. Katrine spoke in Church about loving the people around you. I am blessed with so many wonderful people, and I am going to be so much more gratiful for all of them.
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| Tell me about Julia
“True love doesn't come to you, it has to be inside you.” Julia Roberts
So life took a break tonight, when I skipped class to be alone. To listen to some Rob Bell, listen to music, call my parents. I needed a break. TO BREATH. To write a bit.
I was on my ever sunday date with a good friend, to talk about life and God and to be honest with whats going on. As we sat at Cafe Castro the weather kept changing first sunny then raining, but it stayed the same temperature. And this couldnt be more my life of joys and frusrations. Things are always changing for me but God is always the same.
God is so much in my life. From hosting through Couch Surfers two girls from Puetro Rico and Germany and inviting my friends over for dinner. We talked, laughted, and connected as people from all over the world, around one table we had an two Americans, A dane, Parsian, Puetrican and a German. God was there in the laughts and the Joy, and eating together. And I am learning to take the time to thank him for all these moments. To say Thank you Jesus for all you do in my life.
I am done living in the PAST, and THE FUTURE... God has given me today. I will live in it. I will thank him for every second every tear and laugh. I am tired of missing friends, and not making new ones.
oh time with GOD... how wonderful.
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| Displacement.
I work in a school, with alot wonderful kids. And today as I was playing a board game with 5 of my kids I was thinking about how many children just need someone to spend time with them. My littlest, Maria, was all upset because she couldn't be the red player in the game. Maria eyes swelled with tears and she was unreasonable about the colour thing at first, but then we talked about it and so simply things got better. At the end of my work, I always get a sense of joy. I get to talk and invest time into these kids. I get to sit and listen to all about their weekends, and how excited they are that Flilp has his birthday today, as three run to the corner to grab the danish flag and place it on his desk.
My kids in the school are so lucky. They are here in Denmark, where they will be taken care of... they litterally can be what ever they want. Education is free in Denmark, but not everyone takes it. I pray that my kids take it... that one day they are nurses, and business people. I know that seems native but I do wish for it in their lives. But I also think about all the kids in the world that are disaplaced around 20.000.000 thats 4 times the size of denmark. I think of these kids and wonder how I am going to be able to one day help them. Hopefully I get into my education. Then one day working with an organization. Until then I will pray for these kids like my kids in the school, but I'll pray for peace, and good governments that will take care of them, but most importantly that they have someone to walk with them to play games, to read to them, to care for them.
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“My dream is to return home for one or two days before I die. It would give me everything. I’d go back to my house, my garden, my school.” Adolescent, Azerbaijan
An estimated 20 million children are currently displaced by armed conflict or human rights violations. Two thirds are internally displaced within their own national borders. These children are forced to flee their homes, often travelling great distances to escape enemy fire, and become the most frequent victims of violence, disease, malnutrition and death. In the chaos of flight, children may become separated from their parents and families. They are exposed to far greater danger and exploitation, including forced recruitment, abduction, trafficking or sexual exploitation. Displaced children urgently need assistance and protection.
When families and communities abandon their homes, taking what few possessions they can carry, they may plan to return at the earliest opportunity. But ‘temporary’ displacement can extend well over a decade. In such cases, children may spend their entire childhood in camps. Other long-term effects of displacement are an increased risk of poverty resulting from the loss of land, inheritance or other legal rights; incarceration or discrimination; and an inability to resume schooling. | | |
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